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new ยท ai roast app

Your phone now has opinions.

Choose your primate. Get called out. From the Chill Chimp to the Rage Gorilla โ€” your phone finally fights back.

Join 1K+ other recovering doomscrollers

Choose your primate

From chill to chaos. Pick who keeps you in check.

Chill Chimp character โ€” a relaxed monkey with headphones waving

Chill Chimp

Gentle vibes only

Hey friend, you've been scrolling for 18 minutes. That's okay, but maybe your eyes need a break? I believe in you. ๐ŸŒ
for: people who cry at Pixar movies
Sass Monkey character โ€” a sassy monkey with purple sunglasses, arms crossed

Sass Monkey

Funny but make it personal

You've opened Instagram 9 times today. At this point just marry it.
for: people who roast their friends in the group chat
Rage Gorilla character โ€” a furious gorilla surrounded by flames

Rage Gorilla

Zero chill. Maximum accountability.

34 MINUTES. YOU'VE BEEN STARING AT YOUR PHONE FOR 34 MINUTES. PUT. IT. DOWN.
for: people who need to be yelled at to function

How it works

  1. Pick your poison apps

  2. Sass Monkey

    Choose your primate

  3. Get roasted in real time

Create your Roast Monkey

Make it personal. Build your own monkey that matches your vibe.

Pick your base

Pick your accessory

Pick your roast style

Monkey

Your monkey says:

"You've opened Instagram 9 times today. At this point just marry it."

thenudgemonkey.com

What Primate Are You?

Answer 4 questions. Meet your inner monkey.

Step 1 of 4

It's 11pm. You open TikTok 'for one minute.' What actually happens?

Ignore the Chimp.
Meet the Gorilla.

The longer you scroll, the more your monkey evolves. Start with a gentle nudge. End with a full gorilla meltdown. You've been warned.

Chill Chimp โ€” gentle stageSass Monkey โ€” sassy stageRage Gorilla โ€” full meltdown stage
0โ€“10 min10โ€“25 min25 min+

The Monkey Evolves ๐Ÿงฌ

Roasting is just the beginning. Here's what's coming.

Analog Brain Activities๐Ÿ’

When your monkey pulls you off the screen, it won't just say stop โ€” it'll give you a 2-minute brain reset. Breathing exercises, micro-journaling, focus games. Matched to your time, energy, and mood.

coming soon

Your Scroll DNA๐Ÿต

See your patterns over time. When do you scroll most? Which apps trap you? What actually works to break the loop? Your monkey learns and adapts.

coming soon

Expert Brain Coaching๐Ÿฆ

For the truly committed: get matched with a real focus coach for personalized sessions. Part accountability partner, part digital wellness expert.

coming soon

All of this is in the works. Join the waitlist to get early access when it drops.

Rage Gorilla watching you scroll

Still scrolling? The Rage Gorilla is watching.

Join 1K+ other recovering doomscrollers

FAQ (Frequently Avoided Questions)

As real as your Screen Time guilt. We're building it right now. Join the waitlist and you'll be first to know.

Better than willpower. Lower bar than you think. Turns out getting roasted by a cartoon gorilla is surprisingly motivating.

That's between you and your therapist. But also, you chose it. Don't blame us.

Anytime. Start your morning with the Chill Chimp. Switch to the Rage Gorilla at midnight when you need it most.

We only track your scroll habits to roast you better. We don't sell your data. The Gorilla has standards.

Soon. Join the waitlist or the Gorilla gets angrier. You don't want that.

The roasting is free. Premium features for the truly addicted are coming later. The shame is always free. ๐Ÿต